Face Your Fork

Let’s face it, folks. No matter who you are or where you are, you’re constantly being scrutinized and judged by every human being that encounters you. (Yes… we all notice when you’re wearing those hideous Crocs to the mall!)

First impressions are absolutely everything.  When you meet somebody for the first time, you automatically make personality assumptions based on 1) what the person is wearing and 2) how the person is conducting themselves. After these first assumptions are made, a person then uses them as a filter for future interactions. If the first impression somebody got of you was a cold, calculating SOB, then you might not have much luck dating that particular person in the future.

1. Present yourself as a pretty, trendy person.

We like people who are pretty. We also like people who dress in a pretty way. So be a pretty person!

People assume pretty people are more confident, smarter, and friendly than less-than-average looking people. The opposite is also true - people assume uglier people are more timid, less intelligent, and not as sociable as their better looking counterparts. (This is as true for males as it is females.)

Take the time to go shopping to buy clothes that fit you fabulously. If you’re a woman (or a guy who likes to practice androgyny), learn how to wear makeup “correctly” so you’re always looking your best. Get a great haircut that flatters your face; shape your eyebrows (but not to the point where you’ll look perpetually surprised!) There are hundreds of books on styling - pick up a few, read up, and apply those tips!

2. Come off as modest about your accomplishments.

This should be common sense, right? Be modest about your accomplishments. When you acknowledge your achievements but ever-so-slightly downplay your road to success, everybody will like you more.

Be careful not to be too modest - overly modest people tend to be categorized as having low self-confidence levels and timid. Don’t completely overlook modesty either; if you don’t show a little modesty, you appear as boastful and rude to others. The obvious key is to strike a balance between the two.

We like people who appear modest because we don’t feel threatened by their accomplishments. People who overtly brag about every achievement they’ve made in life makes us feel insecure and annoyed; we tend to think, “Who is he to say that he’s done X? What an arrogant jerk!” However, if somebody says “Yeah, I accomplished Y, but the road was difficult; it took many, many hours of work and dedication,” we’re more likely to believe they’re one of “us - one of the little guys. It’s easier for everybody to relate to the latter than the former.

3. Show how much you have in common with the other person.

No, Paula Abdul, you and MC Skat Kat do not come together because “opposites attract.” In fact, that’s furthest from what psychology tells us!

People adore similarity. The more you are alike to another person, the more that person will like you in return. From favorite colors to favorite drinks to favorite sports teams, if you acknowledge you have a “favorite” with somebody, they will unconsciously like you more.

Why does creating similarity work? Because people want to be around people who are like them. Sharing common interests with another person helps creates bonds and positive mental reinforcement. We all think we have the “right” opinions on everything, so when we encounter somebody with the same views as us, we unconsciously think they must be a good person because we are good people.

While we’re on the subject of similarity, let’s talk about sub-branch of it: flattery! Why does flattery work so well? Because most of the time people are creating similarity by agreeing with the other person - e.g., “You made a decision you like, I like that decision too!” Because people don’t dissect what they’re told unless prompted too, creating similarity via flattery works surprisingly well. It creates a quick, lasting rapport with the other person.

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Not all of these three tips should be taken as 100% truth all of the time. There are certain points in life where causing a bit of controversy can help change the status quo. There are also times where you’re going to want to purposely not be modest when vying for an important position.

Of course, it’s possible to use these psychological tips to manipulate people - you can artificially  make yourself pretty, you can lie about accomplishments and modestly talk about your fake achievements, and you can also agree to like certain things that you absolutely abhor. It’s dangerous to do this, however, as you wind up creating a fragile self-image that one well-thrown rock could shatter in pieces.

What first impression tips have you found useful?

What’s a super quick way to become more productive in life? Get your email under control!

I know, I know. Easier said than done, right? Email management doesn’t have to be obnoxiously difficult or hard, however. In fact, once you get into the groove of becoming master over your inbox, outbox, sentbox, and any other box you might possess, managing your email to boost personal productivity actually becomes… fun!

I have a few tips and tricks I use to make my email life more enjoyable and productive. Hopefully you’ll be able to apply these simple suggestions to your own email usage.

1.  Don’t use email when there’s a more viable alternative.

Face to face contact is great, so use it! Don’t dash off an email when a snappy 5 minute conversation can do the job quicker and more effectively. Likewise, pick up your cell and make use of your minutes when it’ll save you valuable time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the joys of email! But when I choose to use email over better alternatives, procrastination kicks in high gear. The pattern is always similar: at first, I’m only writing an email. But then I decide to check on other emails people sent me… I do that, and then I’m updating Twitter… whoops! Not surprisingly, I’m on an entirely different track than I started out. Often when this pattern strikes, I waste a good half an hour trying to get back to where I previously was.

Similarly, when people ask for your email or you’re inclined to pass it out like Halloween candy to people who you think might need it, don’t give it out at all. Instead, offer these people another method of contacting you. That way they can keep in touch without clogging your inbox with annoying clutter.

Besides, people like direct communication a lot more than they lead on. Talking directly to another person is much more rewarding - on both ends - than a lifeless, text-filled email. It’s infinitely more appreciated by so many people.

2. Use multiple email accounts for different life compartments.

Separate email accounts for different life compartments = you stay amazingly organized.

I do this useful trick with my blog. I have one email account for people who want to contact me, another account that I use to leave blog comments with (so I can easily keep track of responses to my comments), and yet another account that I use when registering for various websites. While this may be overkill to some bloggers, it allows me to keep the different facets of my blog separate from one another. When I’m required to find a specific email or piece of information that’s located somewhere in one of my inboxes, I can go straight to the appropriate box instead of shuffling through hundreds of emails in one stuffed inbox.

You can apply this to your own personal life as well. Some different email account designations could be family / friends / personal acquaintances, coworkers, and online accounts. (You can get as specific as you want, even creating certain accounts for certain purposes.) Remember, the goal here is structured organization. You don’t want one or two of your email addresses to become catchalls for all the email you receive. Get as detailed as you possibly can in order to maximize your email organization.

3.  Replace email checking with a more positive, rewarding behavior.

Are you constantly checking up on the latest email from your loudmouth, noisy coworker regarding the juicy office gossip about the manager and his affair with you-know-who?! Maybe you need something better to do with your time!

“Aww,” I hear you whine, “what else could I be doing with my time?” You could improve you daily time management - for example, you could schedule the rest of your day or sketch out your weekly plans. You could brainstorm ways to achieve your yearly goals in a more quicker, productive way. In the 15 minutes you might be using to check email, you could be doing light stretches or exercises to get your blood pumping - this can help reduce feelings of tiredness and fatigue.

The bottom line is simple: when you’re actively engaged in an activity that you 1) consciously choose and 2) know can pay off in the future, it’s hard to stop doing said activity for something as trivial as checking your email.

There are so many different internet-based time wasters out there now: Facebook, Twitter, forum usage, MySpace, gossip websites, and so on. I’m sure all of these services love your patronage! Don’t use them for the sake of using them. Be the master of the technological resources in your life.

Somewhere out there, a major technological time waster is waiting to snap onto the coattails of your personal productivity. Don’t idly fall into the email procrastination trap! Use your email wisely, and reap the benifits of improved productivity.